We are two weeks into the gratitude challenge, how are you finding it so far? Have you found much to be grateful for? If you haven’t started it yet, don’t worry, you can start it at any time and you can print off your free PDF chart here. Today you will work through the next step and learn how to address the Brain chatter.
A few weeks back I was having a MAJOR meltdown. Things seemed to be crashing down around me and I felt that I was losing control of both my mind and my life….I know, I’m so dramatic at times. I guess part of having such an expressive personality is that I experience super highs and also major lows and I know that a lot of you can relate to that. As always in these situations, I like to get a bit of perspective and chat to others as well as asking for their opinions. I like to see how others would handle a situation so that I can handle it better myself. I am a member of the Female entrepreneur association which has a dedicated Facebook group full of amazing ladies. So I hit Facebook and asked for advice in the FEA group and in the Bella Coco Lifestyle club. I truely believe that people come into your life for a purpose, and I believe that at this particular time I was supposed to ‘meet’ Bree. I say ‘meet’, but Bree actually lives in Australia, so it was more of a virtual interaction. She talked me through a few things and made some amazing points which made me sit back and look at things with a different perspective. I was then introduced to her Facebook group which is dedicated to the subject of emotional confidence for women. I was hooked! This woman really knows what she is talking about and her live video chats really hit home. So today I am delighted to introduce you to Bree where she will talk you through how to deal with the ‘brain chatter’ that so many of us fall victim to.
“I can’t do this”
“What if they don’t like me?”
“I should have done that today… and this”
“I can’t believe that happened…”
“Why do they always do that? Why do I always let them”
I believe that 90% of women struggle with Head Chatter. And the incessant voices in the head that accompany every action, every conversation and every thought can either be our maker or our breaker.
For far too many women, the Inner Dialogue is a breaker, haunting them in the middle of the night and preventing them from being productive during the day.
What can you do to stop the Inner Dialogue?
Neurologically women process emotion differently – with up to 25% more connection from head to heart, we assign emotions to events far more often, and once an emotion is assigned, that event is burned into our memories. And with every replay of the event, that emotional connection is strengthened. Therefore, it’s important for women to recognise that the story itself isn’t the problem, it’s the emotion beneath the story that needs address.
Become aware of your actual thoughts – What are you saying to yourself? Write down your thoughts on a piece of paper.
What are those thoughts making you feel? When you look at what you’ve written, what emotion does it stir for you. Identify it by giving it a name. EG: Stressed. Overwhelmed. Anxious.
Validate or Reject that combination of thought and feeling. Is it making you feel good by thinking and feeling that way? If so, you can validate it by accepting it and your brain will continue to find evidence to support that (more thoughts/memories/stories!) If it’s making you feel bad however, you can choose to Reject the thought…. HOW?
Reject any negative thought by purposefully looking for examples that disprove your thought.
EG: You’re thinking “I can’t do this, what if I fail?” and you acknowledge it causes you to feel Doubt.
Look for examples in your past of similar achievements or wins you’ve experienced. “I remember that time last week when I doubted myself but I pushed ahead and did it anyway and the result was pretty good”
Build yourself up. Finish this activity by listing 3-5 of your personal strengths, of 3-5 wins that you’ve achieved that day, of 3-5 things that make you feel good about yourself. Shifting the focus of your stories consciously will dissipate any lingering negative emotion.
As a female, it’s so important for women to recognise that the stories we tell ourselves are NOT the problem. Many women believe that by making sense of the story we can solve the problem, but given females are far more emotional, both neurologically and hormonally, logic doesn’t mean solution. By becoming aware to the emotion underneath the story, women have an opportunity to make more heart felt solutions and therefore peace.
To find out more about how you can actually heal the emotions of any story, schedule a FREE Discovery Call with Bree Stedman – During your call, we’ll unpack the story you are telling yourself and I’ll teach you a very simple and effective strategy to Reject any negative emotional story that is blocking you.
Bree Stedman has been working with women for more than 11 years, helping hundreds of women to use their unique female brains to find more confidence, productivity and success in their lives. Meet Bree at www.breestedman.com